Two Cents is an original column akin to a book club for films. The Cinapse team will program films and contribute our best, most insightful, or most creative thoughts on each film using a maximum of 200 words each. Guest writers and fan comments are encouraged, as are suggestions for future entries to the column. Join us as we share our two cents on films we love, films we are curious about, and films we believe merit some discussion.
The Pick
An adaptation of a Bram Stoker novel about a seemingly eccentric aristocrat who is an actually an inhuman, immortal evil feeding upon anyone who gets in their way (no, the other one), Lair of the White Worm was only possible thanks to the success of notoriously anarchic director Ken Russell’s success with 1987’s Gothic.
That film, a re-telling of the fateful social engagement that resulted in the writing of Frankenstein, proved enough of a hit that the studio signed Russell on for three new films and gave him more or less carte blanche to do as he liked.
A longtime fan of Dracula, Russell set his sights on Stoker’s “disappointing” final novel, The Lair of the White Worm. Taking only the spine of Stoker’s story, he conjured up a mostly brand new tale, this one concerning a Scottish archaeology student (a very young Peter Capaldi) who discovers a strange skull on land owned by the new lord of the manor, James D’Ampton (an even younger Hugh Grant). The unearthing of the skull precedes a whole series of strange events, often involving eccentric Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) and two local girls (Catherine Oxenberg, Sammi Davis) whose parents recently disappeared into the cave reputed to be the home of the mythical d’Ampton ‘worm’.
Only, perhaps some things aren’t as mythic as once believed.
Lair of the White Worm has a fairly standard monster movie plot, but this serves mostly as a launching pad for Russell to indulge in psychotropic freakouts, blasphemy, and enough phallic-obsession to make Freud snap his pencil in half. You know, the classics.
The film received a sour reception when first released, but developed a cult following along with other Russell films like The Devils or Altered States. At times, Lair of the White Worm has been lambasted as a “so bad it’s good” disasterpiece, while Russell insisted for all the rest of his life that he knew the film was ridiculous and intended it to be taken as a comedic parody of classic horror, not a straight-faced entry in the genre.
We put it to the Two Cents crew: do you dare enter the Lair of the White Worm? And just what did you find inside?
Next Week’s Pick:
We’ve had a blast this spooky season, but it’s time to set aside the tricks and treats until next year. For the final film in our Halloween special, we ask you to join us with a classic of ’80s creature-feature goodness: The Gate, starring a young Stephen Dorff as a boy who accidentally unleashes demons from a hellhole in his backyard.
The Gate is available to stream on Amazon Prime.
Would you like to be a guest in next week’s Two Cents column? Simply watch and send your under-200-word review to twocents(at)cinapse.co anytime before midnight on Thursday!
Our Guests
Chris Chipman:
Any movie that has a folk song describing its back story played during the film is going to be a good time…
The Lair of the White Worm is one of those cover boxes at our local video store (Video Craze Lynn, MA — RIP) that would always catch my eye. Our villainess, Lady Sylvia Marsh, seductively slithering out of her snake basket with the snake silhouette in the background made the movie seem both interesting, creepily alluring and scary all at the same time.
Finally seeing it at 35 years old was a trip. This movie is BONKERS. There is an Evil Dead kind of thing going on where the convoluted plotting as to what is going on is danced through in a joking manner, it really works in the movie’s favor. Our villainess first describing her big plans to her first on-screen victim (who is paralyzed) is quickly cut short by a doorbell ringing to which she responds “Well shit” and quickly drowns the victim and shrugs. It is a wonderfully comic moment and really adds levity to all of the strangeness.
This is an INCREDIBLY horny movie. The first half is mildly suggestive while the second half turns into a full on GWAR show with strap-on snake dildos and crazy fever-dream imagery that is really out there. There is also really young Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi, kicking major ass. Capaldi doing so in a kilt and playing bagpipes. This movie, for me, is a real treat. Just be ready for a strange ride.
Verdict: TREAT (@TheChippa)
Brendan Agnew (The Norman Nerd):
Well, there must be SOMEthing to this movie, because I’ve watched it twice in the last two days.
Lair of the White Worm was one of those “I’m glad I didn’t just imagine that!” Movies that us greybeards will reference as having caught part of while channel surfing on TV (ask your parents) so long ago that only scattered images remain lodged in your memory until you stumble across the actual title. Only, in this film’s case, that also kinda happens after you’ve seen the whole film because these images tend to be so gloriously bananas.
Ostensibly about two sisters, an English lord, and the most Scottish Scotsman to ever Scotch contending with a hungry snake god and its vampiric acolytes, Lair is *actually* about Amanda Donohoe doing whatever she damn well pleases to the scenery, and Ken Russell attempting to outdo her flex with his visually-arresting dream sequences. There’s just enough time with the initial countryside drawing room drama of missing fathers, restless nobility, and odd archaeological/ paleontological findings that the hard left turn into occult horror comedy plays well, but enough odd details from the go that nothing feels like a cheat.
Except for when the film totally cheats and makes you want another movie or two just to adequately cover The Things That Happened in between Those Other Things, but the film doesn’t get around to showing because of Things And Stuff. The film will happily pile on story information or characters and then discard them wherever it grows weary of them, but the new angles are — like the film as a whole — absolutely worth a look, even if there’s some slight whiplash.
Verdict: TREAT (@BLCAgnew)
The Team
Sexy, different, and altogether bizarre… yup, this is surely a Ken Russell film. It’s not on the level of his epic rock operas, his Olly Reed vs. possessed nuns film, nor the insane exploration of altering physical and mental states. Yet, it’s still a great way to spend an evening this spooky season.
If nothing else, Lair of the White Worm is unique and entertaining. I’ll try to figure what the hell it’s trying to say to me some other time… for now, snakebites, nightmares with topless nuns, and amazing 80s effects are all I need from this gem!
Verdict: TREAT (@thepaintedman)
The “Well, shit” moment Chris mentioned is a good make-or-break moment for your enjoyment of this film. If you laugh, you can sit back on your couch and enjoy a wild, silly ride. If you don’t, then for the love of God turn Lair of the White Worm off and watch something else, because things are only going to keep getting goofier.
Ken Russell always expressed bafflement that critics viewed Lair as a failed horror movie rather than a successful comedy, and it’s hard to imagine the bad faith necessary to assume that Lair is only consistently hilarious and pointedly absurd by, I guess, accident. By the time Donohoe is literally slithering out of baskets and stalking around her mansion like a lost, predatory member of Cirque de Soleil, the movie has more than clearly tipped its hand.
At times, Lair is a bit too scattered for its own good, coming across more like a collection of funny ideas and crazy imagery then anything with a cohesive point or point of view, but Russell and his cast seem to be having so much fun that it’s easy to kick back and watch them play, waiting for the next gag that really lands.
Verdict: TREAT (@TheTrueBrendanF)
When programming these selections we try to mix things up, including hitting a few key categories. My favorite among these is to have at least one really crazy left-field recommendation that most of our readers haven’t seen. Something that will really elicit a strong reaction. (Some previous entries in this category: The Devil’s Rain, The Oily Maniac).
I actually expected some more contention surrounding this one, but our film club has once again come out in unanimous favor of the pick. The Lair of the White Worm starts out conventionally enough but then goes to some really weird places for both laughs and shocks with its sexy villain, phallic imagery, bizarre flashes of pop-art insanity, and eventually a showdown with the monster on the marquee. Ken Russell’s perverse nuttiness is definitely on display, but unlike some of his other films, it plays for fun and the result is delightfully strange.
Verdict: TREAT (@Austin Vashaw)
The Verdict:
Treat: 5 | Trick: 0
It’s a TREAT!
Next week’s pick:
The Gate — https://amzn.to/3481QnN