Life Of Crime releases today on Blu-Ray from Lionsgate Films.
Gus turned the TV on. He didn’t want to watch anything, it was more for the background noise.
Gus had a problem with quiet houses.
The reporter on the television screen, with his perfect haircut, droned on and on about a canned corn recall.
Nothing about a bank robbery.
Gus allowed himself a smile.
Ernie came down the stairs, nodding at Gus as he passed him on the way to the kitchen.
“What’s the word?”, Gus asked.
“What you’d expect. Keep your head down, expect a pickup in the morning.”
“Mmm.”
Gus, by and large, wasn’t much of a talker.
Two minutes later, Ernie plopped himself down on the couch next to Gus, carrying two beers in one hand and a plate of reheated Chinese food in the other. Ernie placed the beer on the table in front of Gus, who acknowledged it with a small, almost imperceptible nod.
“The news?”
“Nothing yet.” Gus took a sip. “You surprised?”
“A little.”
That was the end of that particular conversation.
While Ernie ate, Gus flipped absentmindedly through the channels. After rotating around the dial at least twice, he settled on some comedy starring Jennifer Aniston. She was playing a stripper, the kind that only goes down to bra and panties.
“Hey”, Ernie said between mouthfuls of Chow Mein, “That’s that chick from Friends, right?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s good. I like her. I saw her in this movie the other day, don’t remember the name of it.”
“What was it about?”
“It’s in the 70s, she gets kidnapped by these guys…”
“One of those, huh?”
“Yeah. But more interestin’ than that, though.” Ernie paused, taking a sip. “You ever see that movie Jackie Brown?”
“Of course.”
“You know the guys Samuel L. Jackson and Robert de Niro played? Well, it’s those guys, but it’s the 70s, so they’re younger. Anyway, they kidnap her, and try to ransom her off to her husband, the guy from Bull Durham.”
“Kevin Costner?”
“No, not him. The other guy, the guy from Shawshank!”
“Tim Robbins.”
“If you say so. Anyway, turns out he’s bangin’ some other chick, so he doesn’t even want to pay up.”
“Who plays the other chick?”
“You ever see Confessions of a Shopaholic?”
“Yeah, I took my old lady to that one when it came out.”
“It’s the main girl from that. Anyway, you know… kidnappings, shit goes wrong, hilarity ensues.”
“Hold up. So Samuel L. Jackson and Robert de Niro–“
“–No, it ain’t them. It’s the same characters, but different actors. Uh, the de Niro is this guy John Hawkes and the Sam L. part is Mos Def.”
“You know he goes by ‘yasiin bey’ now. All lowercase.”
Ernie snorted.
“These artist types. Who can figure ’em? Anyway, it’s a pretty good movie. “
“Yeah, I’ll be sure to check it out sometime–“
“You know what I really like about it?”, Ernie asked, not waiting for Gus to answer. “It’s got a real feel for the seventies, and for the mundane nature of crime. Guys like you and me, we know this stuff is all business. Usually pretty boring. But those Hollywood jokers, they never quite manage to get that right. That’s what I liked about this one. It ain’t about the crime, or some bullshit twists and turns. It’s about the behavior of the people. There’s some real great characters in it, and some really funny parts.”
“Huh. Sounds like Elmore Leonard.”
“Who’s that?”
“Writer. You’d like his stuff. Crime books, but they’re real funny, too.”
“I don’t know. I’m not a reader. I prefer movies.”
Ernie took another sip of beer, savoring it. He realized he had nothing else to say about the movie. He looked over at Gus, who had gone back to flipping mindlessly through channels. Ernie knew Gus wouldn’t watch the movie. He wouldn’t know a quality film if it bit him on the ass.
His loss, Ernie thought.
Giving up on trying to bring some entertainment into Guses’ life, Ernie settled into the couch. His plate was empty, his beer was getting warm.
He glanced at Gus, wondering if he knew that the phone call was a lie, that nobody was coming.
Gus was, as always, impossible to read.
Eventually Ernie turned his gaze towards the television, watching as the Bruins went into overtime on ESPN Classic.
Bernie Parent was on fire…
SPECIAL FEATURES:
– AUDIO COMMENTARY WITH DIRECTOR DANIEL SCHECHTER AND CO-STAR WILL FORTE: “Ugh, who wants to listen to two guys talk over a movie for 90 minutes? I don’t like it when assholes do it in the theater, and I don’t like it here either”, Ernie thought, though he had to admit he made exceptions when he thought the movie was particularly bad…
-BEHIND THE SCENES: “A lot of back slapping and ‘You’re great!’, ‘No, you’re great!’”, Ernie sighed, wondering why these things so often had to be promotional puff pieces.
-ENVISIONING THE BIG PICTURE: “Now this is way more interesting”, Ernie smiled. A more in-depth look at getting the period details right on a low budget, with a shortened shooting schedule. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why THIS stuff wasn’t part of the Behind the Scenes featurette in the first place…
-HIT & RUN: CHOREOGRAPHING MAYHEM: Ernie was impressed with the amount of care and detail that went into the choreography. Even as a lover of film, he never failed to be amazed by how much effort has to go into every moment of filmmaking.
-ULTRAVIOLET DIGITAL HD: “What a bunch of bullshit”, Ernie said, to no one in particular.
