UNINVITED: Killer Cats on the Seven Seas

Uninvited is another bizarre oddity brought to Blu-ray by the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome. The 1988 killer feline film was written and directed by Greydon Clark, who is probably best known for Without Warning, Joysticks, or Wacko, was a direct to video gem that also ran on the USA Network, where it would sometimes air late Saturday nights. It was filmed with a relatively modest budget of $200,000, with $75,000 of that going its senior principals Alex Cord, Clu Gulager, George Kennedy; the rest of the budget went to crafting a strange descent into madness at sea.

The film focuses on two bikini-clad Valley Girl Grifters, Bobbie (Clare Carey, Waxwork) and Suzanne (Shari Shattuck, Death Spa), who are down on their luck at Spring Break with no place to stay. That is, until they run into slimy millionaire Walter Graham (Alex Cord, Airwolf), who offers the ladies a chance to accompany him on a cruise through the Caribbean on his private yacht. The women then recruit three men to go with them to keep Graham’s advances at bay during the trip. The men’s relationship with the women is never really explained — are they meeting for the first time, or do they already know them? I WANT TO KNOW! What our young protagonists don’t know is Walter’s actually on the run from the authorities and the SEC. He hopes to use the women and the trip as his alibi as he heads to the Cayman Islands to get his fortune before his accounts are frozen.

That setup would be good enough as is for your typical cable T&A thriller. But as the women are on their way to the boat they happen upon a stray orange tabby, which just happens to be a genetically engineered killer super cat. See, when the cat feels threatened, you get kitty Inception — a black cat will come out of the mouth of the orange cat and attack whoever stands in the animal’s way. The practical effects in these sequences are mind bending as a giant cat head puppet is utilized to pull off when the black cat comes out of its mouth. Also, the cat’s saliva is poisonous and will coagulate its victim’s blood or poison food, which doesn’t bode well for our crew when the boat breaks down and their food is tainted by the cat.

Uninvited is a hilariously schlocky exercise in claustrophobia as the film morphs from a run of the mill heist thriller to a surprisingly gory monster extravaganza as the hungry cat begins taking out our stranded spring breakers one by one. It’s strangely compelling and fun to watch due to the ridiculousness of the premise, which never ceases to lose steam as the stakes are continuously raised and the passengers begin to turn on one another as well. The only issue is once the older actors are pretty much out of the picture, the younger actors genuinely begin to struggle with their performances and have nowhere near the presence of their old Hollywood counterparts when interacting with one another.

The film was scanned and restored in 4K and comes with a bevy of extras. I found myself devouring them out of pure morose curiosity just to figure out if what I saw was actually the intended vision of the director, who is featured on a blow by blow commentary. There is also an alternate international cut of the film that runs a few minutes longer and has the nudity that was you probably felt like was missing from the US cut. There’s an interview with the cinematographer, who fondly recounts his time on the project, and is very kind given the film’s flaws. The transfer here is very clean, and has a good contrast, even for the darker scenes. I was honestly impressed with the cinematography; given the budget, the film feels much larger than it is at times.

If you’re a fan of Vinegar Syndrome’s more off the beaten path offerings, this slice of madness belongs in your collection. It’s a film I’ve found myself recommending to those more adventurous cinephiles who’re looking for something strange that could possibly melt their brain. I personally can’t get enough of the surreal giant puppet cat head that would show up when the animal felt threatened and had to take care of business, and I found myself revisiting the film more than once over the last few weeks. So what can I say? This film may not be for everyone, but if you read this and anything sparked your fancy, you should probably pick this up for the sheer WTF factor alone.

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