If you didn’t like the last sequel, DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES isn’t likely to change your mind.
Most would find it a true challenge to pinpoint a film series as resilient as Pirates of the Caribbean. Every subsequent film the franchise churns out has managed to a be a huge moneymaker, despite having to deal with multiple directors, changing casts, jarring tonal shifts and wildly differing reactions from critics and audiences alike. The first installment, 2003’s The Curse of the Black Pearl, remains a bona-fide classic and most every fan’s favorite, while its 2006 follow-up, Dead Man’s Chest, proved a worthy, if slightly lesser sequel. Yet the following year’s At World’s End was a bloated affair which favored action sequences over character and plot as the slightly tamer On Stranger Tides four years later left many fans decidedly underwhelmed. It’s them I feel most sorry for in writing this review. Because if they didn’t care for that film, there’s little hope of them finding anything in Dead Men Tell No Tales that’s worth embracing.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales once again focuses on Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) who is recruited by Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), the son of Will (Orlando Bloom) to help him find the trident of Poseidon in order to free his father from a dark sea curse. The two recruit the help of Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), an astronomer with her own motives, to help track their course at sea. However the trio is not alone. Also on the hunt for the trident is Jack’s old nemesis Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the phantom pirate Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), who has a score to settle with Jack.
The biggest problem with Dead Men Tell No Tales is that, like much of the current crop of sequels, the film simply doesn’t have a reason to exist. It’s not that the movie is lacking in any one tangible area. The actors are present, the visuals are as top notch as can be and there’s enough action to call this a true Pirates sequel. Yet, while all the elements are there, none of them manage to stand out as memorable or even worthy of attention while they’re playing out on the screen. So many times during the film when Jack was making a daring escape or an elaborate effect involving a ship was being unfolding, I kept thinking to myself: “Why am I not impressed by any of this?”
One of the problems is that the movie never really feels like it gets going. It tries, but inevitably there’s just too much set-up and anticipation that ultimately leads to nothing. Not helping matters is that the makers of Dead Men Tell No Tales have decided the only way to keep the series alive is to simply mimic what’s come before, particularly in it’s characters. It doesn’t take much deciphering to see the Henry and Carina are the new Will and Elizabeth (Kiera Knightley) while Salazar is their Barbossa. It’s a cheap and tired ploy which in the end doesn’t even make the film interesting enough to be bad.
It’s the comedy, however, that’s perhaps the biggest casualty here. People forget that the first two (possibly three) films possessed surprisingly great wit and a true comic flair with lines such as Jack describing his feelings towards moments of doing the right thing: “I love those moments…I like to wave at them as they pass by.” Unfortunately by this point, the series’ humor has been reduced to that of bad SNL. While a quick scene with a Guillotine is actually rather funny, moments such as Carina explaining that she’s a Horologist, to which Jack replies: “Well, everyone’s got to make a living,” to Paul McCartney’s cameo as Jack’s imprisoned uncle, telling him that asking for a specific executioner will save him from getting his feet chopped off, aren’t even worthy of eyerolls. In the past, the comedy of Pirates of the Caribbean usually worked in tandem with the plot. Here it’s hopelessly and unsuccessfully trying to be funny in a secret effort to distract from the patchiness of the overall story.
At this point Depp can play Jack in his sleep. The character is by now the actor’s most iconic movie role and will forever be etched in audience’s minds whenever his name comes up. However that also means that by now, Depp is so comfortable playing Jack that there are very few tricks left up his sleeve with which to wow audiences. He’s trying, but there’s not much left to try for. At least Rush found some new area to take Barbossa and actually manages to add new levels to the character, which the movie certainly benefits from. Likewise Bardem makes the most of his colorful role as Salazar. The actor brings forth his character’s menace and torture without making him too showy. The rest of the cast don’t fare so well however as Thwaites and Scodledario, while certainly game, can’t shake off the nothingness of their characters, while a bookended cameo from Bloom sees the actor at his absolute dullest.
The first time I saw The Curse of the Black Pearl was on a family vacation aboard a Disney cruise to the Bahamas and the film was screened weeks ahead of its theatrical release for passengers. The movie was such an entertaining and invigorating experience, that it instantly became one of my favorite films of the year, as was the case with a number of critics and audiences. It possessed adventure, escapism, creativity, style, effects and comedy and used each element to create a truly special movie experience. More than a decade on, and not only does Dead Men Tell No Tales miss the mark on every aspect which made the original so special, but to top it off, until recently, not only did I keep on forgetting it was actually coming out. I actually forgot it existed.
