People, I love it when a show comes together.
Watching tonight’s episode (which, just so we get this out of the way, I absolutely loved), I have come to the realization that the only two people I demand get a happy ending are Joan and Sally. Joan because she’s been through so much garbage and had to fight so hard for every bit of goodness that comes her way; and Sally because having Don and Betty for parents must be the worst.
I know it couldn’t have been easy for Bobby and Gene, either. But neither Gene nor any of the Bobbys were ever played by Kiernan Shipka, so fuck them.
The first truly great episode of this final half season shines because it places Don’s existential crisis where it belongs: in the office. The Sterling Cooper and Associates crew are far more interesting crew to spend time with than, let’s say, Megan, to pick a random name from out of nowhere. Everyone’s general ambivalence to the kind of interior analysis Don is completely incapable of regulating anymore made for a much lighter, more poignant exploration of the ‘Is that all there is?’ theme that is clearly the fulcrum point of these final hours.
(As a sidenote, shout out to the AMC promo people who listed “Peggy and Pete clash” as one of the major plotlines, only to basically have Pete show up in a single scene. Y’all are really on top of your shit…)
(Pictured: our episode’s main players)
Where to start in this busy yet surprisingly breezy episode?
You know what? Let’s start with good ‘ol, F-bomb dropping Dinkus.
Yeah, yeah… his name isn’t Dinkus; look, there are four episodes left. Damned if I’m learning any new names.
Dinkus tanks a cookie commerical pitch and drops the fuck word while arguing with his co-worker, Dinkus 2. Taking the wrong lessons away from an unusually mentor-like Don, Dinkus tries a wongheaded concilatory tactic and gets dropped from the campaign, and then fired when he turns his venom on Don.
This is one of the things the show does best: create those little parallels in mostly unrelated stories. We contrast Don’s dealings with Dinkus, and his dealings with the realtor selling his $85,000 (over half a mil in todays market) apartment, and find that some people can sell and some people can’t.
The realtor doesn’t think she can sell Don’s sad, furniture-less $85,000 apartment (and man alive have they gotten an impressive amount of story usage out of that wine stain in the opener). But Don knows the value of what he’s got. And sure enough, she doesn’t know how she does it, but she gets it done, because furniture or no, it’s something worth buying.
Meanwhile, Dinkus can’t sell what’s a pretty solid idea, and turns on everyone (I didn’t catch if they mentioned which tagline he went with in the room, but I can’t help but imagine it was his terrible first one), and can’t even wrap his mind around the moral of Don’s Lucky Strike anecdote. In the end, he doesn’t even know how to sell himself. Which is why Don is Don, and also why I’m not recapping an episode of Dinkus Knows Best.
(Pictured: Dinkus; some other schmuck)
Meanwhile, Joan is in LA! And leaning into being the kind of terrible mother that spawned a thousand baby boomer therapy sessions.
Her immediately calling room service after getting disconnected from her son was a great little gag that didn’t reveal it’s true teeth until a bit later.
Also, maybe I’m a bit slow here, but it never occurred to me that that Mad Men may be making something of an argument against family.
Joan is a mother who wants to be a working woman, which she didn’t realize until after she got the family life she always assumed was her dream. And now her child is starting to seem more and more like a crying, pooping reminder of a life she doesn’t necessarily want or need anymore.
Combine that with Betty, who has always been a terrible mother, because she was raised to have absolutely no value past her beauty and skills as a hostess, and it never even occurred to her that it wasn’t what she wanted.
Peggy sacrificed family for work, and only occasionally seems to be upset about it, and never so much that you get the idea she’d do things differently. Notably, “start a family” is nowhere on her list of future plans.
Hell, I was hoping I was done talking about her, but even Megan didn’t want to have kids, because of her career. And her mom was pretty bitter about her ambitions having been dashed due to family, if I recall.
So, then it’s resolved: the REAL underlying moral of Mad Men is wear a fucking condom.
Joan gets herself a new playmate in Richard (played by Americas’ Favorite Older Boyfriend Bruce Greenwood). He’s rich, he’s charming, he’s divorced, and he only has eyes for Joan.
What he does not have eyes for it her kid; he’s been there, raised that, doesn’t want the sequel.
I really enjoyed the chemistry between Greenwood and Christina Hendricks, and it’s always a delight to see Joan happy. So while I prepared for their romance to end, I was not expecting him to come back. His apology at the office gave me a warm feeling inside.
I swear… this show has made me so soft, you guys.
(Yeah, yeah… he was also in the Star Trek reboot. Calm down, nerds…)
Besides dealing with Dinkus, Don got assigned by Roger to write one of those Future Prospects sort of papers that companies always do for some reason, which only helped exacerbate his already overwhelming sense of discontent. Going from person to person asking them vaguely about the future reveals that not everyone is quite as adept or interested in the big questions as eternally restless Don.
(Even though Peggy didn’t have much to do this week, but her casual dismissal of Meredith was a hoot, and her scene with Don, ending with “Next time you can tell me your dreams so I can shit all over them?” Pure gold.)
So, quick question: did anyone actually think for a split second that Sally may have really gotten pregnant when she was at the dinner table with Betty?
No? Just me? I’m the only guy who immediately believes anyone who says they’re pregnant? Fair enough…
After two damn episodes of non-Sally bullshit, she comes roaring back on the scene, and good lord have I been starved for the mother-daughter shade throwing! Sally throwing darts at the softer, vaguely human new version of Betty (who is taking them way better than she used to) is one of the show’s richest veins of entertainment, along with Pete running into shit and Roger Sterling saying just about anything.
And then Glen shows up, and it gets so, so good.
(Sadly, it’s not yet possible to find photos of this episode’s thinner, sexier Glen, who now has the sideburns of an Adonis. Instead, please enjoy the picture on google images that makes him look the least like what I imagine the Zodiac Killer really looked like)
I know a lot of people don’t have much tolerance for Glen (and the acting skills of one Marten Weiner) that I do, but he’s definitely gotten better as he’s gone along, and watching the same actor grow up gives what is almost certainly his last appearance a certain amount of weight.
Plus, the scene where Betty sees Glen for the first time in a decade and turns into a little schoolgirl was laugh out loud hilarious.
Glenn has volunteered to go to Nam, which horrifies Sally and makes it real for Betty, who has been pro-war in sentiment and now has her resolve truly tested. Sally rips Glenn a new one and runs off, as she is wont to do.
Of course Sally gets a scene where she breaks down while calling to apologize, and of course it’s heart-rending; again, this is why everyone loves Sally and nobody cares about any of the fifteen Bobbys we’ve had to choose from.
While I kind of wish the story had ended there, there’s more. Glen returns to see Betty while Sally is away and we find out that he’s not volunteering out of a sense of duty, but because he’s flunked out of school and doesn’t want to piss off his dad… oh, and also because he thinks Betty will let him cop a feel.
Again, I kind of saw it coming, but it’s hard to complain when it gives Betty one of the most human moments she’s ever had on the show.
Januarys Jones’ chemistry with Weiner has always been really good, and the tenderness with which she swats away his clumsy pass and reassures him he’ll get back safely gives needed texture to a character that’s all too easy to write off as a one-dimensional monster (all too easy because the writers have done it quite a lot). It’s as on the nose as the show can get sometimes, but her dumping that gun in the trash shows growth, and any sign of that from Betty is a good thing indeed.
(Also, I can’t stress this enough: it’s lucky for all us that Matthew Weiner was able to hand down such amazing sideburn genes, or this entire arc may have fallen flat on its face…)
Sally, picking up on the weird vibe during Glen and Betty’s initial reunion, and spurred on by the fairly blatant flirting that one of her friends does with Don during dinner, attempts to tell Don off before she goes on some kind of bus tour I couldn’t be bothered to do the research on.
And here’s where it all comes together beautifully.
Dinkus finds out he is definitely not a Don;
Glen thought his new identity as a brave soldier would finally win him the girl he never stopped pining for ever since he was a kid.
New boyfriend Bruce Greenwood makes a choice not to be “rigid” and earns a shot at some serious happiness;
And Sally rejects the legacy, only to be reminded by an expert that you can’t run away from what you are, and you can’t define yourself by what you’re not.
“You’re a very beautiful girl. It’s going to be up to you to be more than that.”
Truer words have never been spoken.
Trust me: I’m extremely good looking, and it hasn’t gotten me shit.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
-Did a little research: On a list of shows produced by Hanna Barbera between 1970–1972, I could find no trace of Scout’s Honor. Sorry Lou, I don’t think this one’s going to work out for you; when the powers that be pick the Hair Bear Bunch over you, it’s time to hang up your pens…
-With Lou Avery having checked in, I believe only Jim Cutler is unaccounted for. A watchful nation turns its eyes to you, Harry Hamlin!
-THIS WEEK IN TED CHAOUGH: Ted wants drugs.
Sorry, pharmaceuticals.
(But we all know what you really meant, Teddy Boy…)
-Dear Internet: If there’s a site that specializes in GIFs of Sally Draper giving people side-eye, please let me know immediately. Sincerely, Your Humble Recepper
-2500 words for Don’s paper? That’s it? I could do that in my sleep! Which I feel like I should probably apologize to the readers for…
NEXT WEEK: Mo Ken, Mo Problems…
