If you’ve seen Gambler (available as an extra on the US release of Pusher) the previous Danish doc on Director Nicolas Winding Refn, you know the director isn’t afraid to show us some of the harsher realities of being an indie filmmaker. The film chronicled the director’s struggle making not one, but two sequels to his crime hit Pusher to hopefully get his family out of bankruptcy after losing 5.5 million dollars on his American debut Fear X. This time his wife Liv Corfixen is behind the camera as director/documentarian as Refn takes his family to Bangkok to film his follow-up to Drive, Only God Forgives.
I should probably note before I go on, I loved Only God Forgives. It’s raw, surrealistic and uncompromising; a stark departure from Drive.
My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn runs at a lean 60 minutes and chronicles the film’s pre-production, filming and eventual fallout when it is unveiled at Cannes. The film is bookended by Tarot Card readings by none other than Alejandro Jodorowsky, who’s the spiritual godfather to Refn. These readings give an uncanny insight to Refn and the events we are about to see unfold before us as we see the director attempt to balance his roles as a father, husband and filmmaker. In true Jodorowsky fashion he tells Refn during his reading at the beginning of the film, “To forget the big success, to have the pleasure to do it.”
The film attempts to take a hard look not just at the man, but also how it feels to be the woman behind him. Liv feels eclipsed by her husband’s success and she is not afraid to let her frustration be known on camera. While the tension in the film between the two continues build, it never quite boils over. That’s strange given the level of intimacy captured on camera that at times feels like a home movie. We see Refn hiding in bed because he has no idea what his film is about and Ryan Gosling playing with Refn’s children in his downtime. While showing us these private moments Liv makes it a point to never exploit her subjects and that could possibly be the only downfall of this doc.
My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn feels less like a more traditional documentary narrative and more like a series of intersecting moments. While the film feels more intimate than Gambler, it also feels more restrained. We see some plot threads begin, but never quite finish. The tension builds between the couple throughout the film, yet it ends with the family happily back in their apartment waiting for their next adventure. My only thought was what Liv possibly held back or left on the cutting room floor, after all this is her family and she would want to protect them.
Even with that said, I loved My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn.
Refn is one of the most exciting directors currently working right now and to get a glimpse of his creative process is fascinating. Also for filmmakers just starting out or currently working it’s interesting and also comforting to see it doesn’t get any easier. The film is a great snapshot of not only what went into making Only God Forgives but what influenced some of the decisions behind the film as well.
The film is currently available on VOD.