Wanted: Dead Or Alive (1986) can be purchased on on Amazon digitally for a reasonable price or on DVD for an unreasonable one.
THE ACTION/ADVENTURE SECTION — A weekly column that will exclusively highlight and review action movies. The most likely suspects? Action cinema of the 1970s and 1980s. But no era will be spurned. As the column grows, the intent will be to re-capture the whimsy of perusing the aisles of your local video store with only ragingly kick ass cover art to aide you in your quest for sweaty action glory. Here we will celebrate the beefy. This is a safe place where we still believe that one lone hero can save humanity by sheer force of will and generous steroid usage.
What are some of the key distinguishers between an honest to God crime drama and a full-blown action film? Because the line can be blurry at times, wouldn’t you agree? For instance… Training Day is a very well regarded crime film. It isn’t an action movie. But there are cops, and villains, and guns and fights. But then you’ve got the Lethal Weapon movies, which also have cops, villains, and guns and fights. Those are action movies.
Well, I am not necessarily planning to answer that deluge of questions I just asked. But I do have at least one theory on how one can ensure that they are renting a real, hairy-chested action movie as opposed to a namby-pamby crime drama. And that would be this simple test: How big is the lead character’s gun on the cover of the movie?
You see, nothing quite screams “awesome” to me like movies in which our heroes have signature weapons. What else can add that third dimension to an otherwise flat character like, for instance… a shotgun with a laser sight on it? (Because, you know… practicality.) And when that movie character is out in public and can’t carry around a laser-sighted shotgun? Well, the only thing that would be cooler would be a knife that is a mini-katana. You can probably tell that at least half of me is oozing a little sarcasm. But, the other half of me is dead serious. I do love action heroes with signature weapons. And I do think my theory is at least a slightly helpful signifier.
Nobody will ever accuse the Dirty Harry films of being crime dramas. Those are action movies. And never has a lead character been so distinctly aligned with his massive hand cannon of choice.
I have written 4 paragraphs already without really digging into Wanted: Dead Or Alive. Thing is, if you are excited about heroes with signature weapons, then you are pretty much going to love this movie. Rutger Hauer plays Nick Randall, a crazy-tough modern day bounty hunter who happens to be a burnt out CIA agent. One really cool element to this film is that it is intended to be a modern reboot/reimagining/sequel to the Steve McQueen television series of the same name. Hauer’s Nick Randall is a distant relative of McQueen’s character from the show. The only problem with this neat element of the film is that I had to rely on the internet to find this information out. One could definitely watch this movie with no idea that it is paying homage to and/or continuing in the tradition of an old school TV show.
There are, however, a bunch of other really great signifiers that let us all know we are watching an action film from the 1980s.
For instance, our bounty hunter hero is introduced in a James Bond-esque mini adventure that doesn’t tie in to the rest of the film all too much. And in catching his bounty, he sees fit to shoot up the convenience store that his bounty is robbing. And then hands the shop owners a $100 bill. I’m sure that totally covered the damages!
Or how about this one: Randall lives in one of those amazing loft homes that only exist in action movies. You know the ones I’m talking about, they look all isolated and run down on the outside (which makes viewers believe it is “affordable”.) But on the inside he’s got an arsenal, tons of cool gadgets, and surveillance equipment.
Or, how about the wacky stunt casting of Gene Simmons as a Middle Eastern Terrorist villain? I kid you not, the lead singer of KISS plays this film’s heavy. And plays him totally straight to boot.
As I’ve tended to do in The Action/Adventure Section thus far, I’m going to delve into spoilers since this movie was made in 1986. I wouldn’t necessarily do this if I didn’t feel it was really necessary. And in this case, I just have to talk about the ending of this movie. But I’ll get there.
So, you know Nick Randall is a bounty hunter with a super-sweet laser shotgun, and that he is a direct descendant of Steve McQueen. So he really can’t get any tougher. Randall gets pulled back into a legit CIA case when his old buddy Robert Guillaume (TV’s Benson) tells him that he needs him because “he is the best there is.”
Why is he needed so badly? Because Gene Simmons is totally blowing up movie theaters playing Rambo. And we just can’t have that. Not on our turf! Gene Simmons drew first blood.
So, some stuff gets blown up by terrorists who plan to blow up even bigger stuff. The chances are REALLY solid that Rutger Hauer blows up the same amount of stuff in this movie as Gene Simmons, but when Gene Simmons does it… it is bad, because he is a terrorist.
A bunch of people die and stuff, including some people Rutger Hauer is fond of. And Gene Simmons must pay.
So, after the CIA and Simmons have all tried to play Nick Randall for a fool, he shows them all how awesome it is that he “works alone.” He shows them all this by catching Simmons’ character, Malak Al Rahim, alive. Because he is wanted either dead or alive. Hence the title.
So, after the climactic battle, Rutger Hauer leads Gene Simmons out to the authorities with a grenade shoved in his mouth. He is pulling Simmons along by the pin in the grenade. Which is totally awesome. Then he gives his speech to the CIA dudes who played him. It sort of feels like the movie is going to end. But, then dude just pulls the pin out and TOTALLY COLD-BLOODEDLY MURDERS Gene Simmons in front of dozens of federal authorities! And not just murders. The guy’s head is blown off by a grenade shoved in his mouth. (It is actually a pretty awesome practical effect at that.) When everyone gets justifiably upset at this, Robert Guillaume shouts something like “Leave Nick alone”, and our hero strolls down to the riverside and casually plays in the closing credits with his harmonica.
I kid you not… Wanted: Dead Or Alive ends just like Seven, only if Brad Pitt’s character just had no consequences whatsoever to straight murdering a suspect in front of dozens of witnesses.
So, there are some ethics issues rampaging throughout Wanted: Dead Or Alive. I’ve pled my case on that front pretty strongly, I’d say. But, at the same time, the movie is totally a blast in spite of itself. Nick Randall is either “the best there is” or a psychotic maniac. Or both. And fun times will be had by following him on his psychotic exploits.
You’ll have a pretty wild time watching this pre-9/11 terrorist tale. Nothing in this movie would ever even remotely go down the way it does here in our post-9/11 world. There is actually a moment where “the feds” are looking for more help to catch a terrorist who blew up a movie theater and the cranky police chief as all like “We’re stretched too thin, tell them we can’t do it.” Ahh, the quaint way we used to deal with terrorists.
Wanted: Dead Or Alive was directed by Gary Sherman, who also brought us Raw Meat, Dead & Buried, and Vice Squad. After Wanted, he went on to direct Poltergeist III and then seems to have primarily transitioned over to TV work. But wow, the guy did some pretty sweet horror and cult films (Vice Squad is particularly awesome), and he should be proud of the work he did on Wanted: Dead Or Alive. This is an action film that works inside of all known action conventions and, barring some serious ethical concerns surrounding the lead character, manages to have a great time doing it. Check it out!
PS: I couldn’t really work this into the body of the article in a way that made sense… but I kind of love that Rutger Hauer seems to be rocking a pretty blatant beer gut in this movie. You don’t see too many action films with a pudgy lead these days that don’t star Steven Seagal. And you kind of have to respect that. There was a time when Rutger Hauer was so A-list he could headline your action movies with barely concealed love handles.
And I’m Out.
