Two Cents is an original column akin to a book club for films. The Cinapse team will program films and contribute our best, most insightful, or most creative thoughts on each film using a maximum of 200 words each. Guest writers and fan comments are encouraged, as are suggestions for future entries to the column. Join us as we share our two cents on films we love, films we are curious about, and films we believe merit some discussion.
The Pick
Happy Thanksgiving, Cinapsers! Look at all these glum faces. What, no holiday spirit? Well, then I have to shoot you. Now, since you’re reading our article, I’ll give you the option of taking it on the backside. Won’t hurt as bad… maybe.
Ed O’Neill (Married With Children’s Al Bundy) gets a rare starring role as nice guy and working class schmoe Dutch Dooley, in this John Hughes production directed by Peter Faiman. He’s tasked with picking up his girlfriend’s snooty kid Doyle (Ethan Embry) and wrangling him home for Thanksgiving in this holiday road trip from hell.
Did you get a chance to watch along with us this week? Want to recommend a great (or not so great) film for the whole gang to cover? Comment below or post on our Facebook or hit us up on Twitter!
Next Week’s Pick:
Next week’s pick is Serpico, a film based on the true story of one honest NYPD cop navigating an environment of widespread, institutionalized corruption. After watching the film, I highly encourage you to follow it up by reading Frank Serpico’s eye-opening essay, “The Police Are Still Out Of Control“, which was published just last month and is absolutely relevant in our current climate of societal malaise.
Would you like to be a guest in next week’s Two Cents column? Simply watch and send your under-200-word review to twocents(at)cinapse.co!
The Team
Ed:
Sometimes formula isn’t so bad. Actually, on occasion, formula can be executed so flawlessly that it fades into the background, supplying the skeleton for true comedy and characters. Dutch checks every single box in the “two characters who hate each other bond on a wacky road trip” checklist, and that doesn’t bother me at all. Why? Because casting. Ed O’Neill, more famous for portraying Al Bundy and that dude on Modern Family, was born to play Dutch Dooley. Not only that, but his chemistry with a young and dynamic Ethan Embry as the privileged son of his divorced girlfriend only elevates the writing. That Dutch was written and produced by John Hughes should surprise no one, but what does surprise me is just how effective Hughes was at milking that formula for all it was worth and still leaving me asking for more. I had never seen Dutch before, and I doubt I’ll laugh harder at anything this holiday season. I just wish we still made movies where a grown man and a pre-teen child spent the run time of the film literally beating each other up and shooting each other with pellet guns. Is that so much to ask? (@Ed_Travis)
Austin:
Dutch admittedly dodged my expectations a bit. This is my first viewing but I actually remember the trailer from 1991, specifically Ed O’Neill’s defiant sneer, “I don’t take crap from kiddies”. That line always led me to believe that he was the moody adult torturing some poor kid, instead of the other way around. A pretty funny misunderstanding of the plot, but in my defense the guy was Al Bundy. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised when Dutch cheerfully volunteered to pick up bratty Doyle rather than being roped into it by his girlfriend, and throughout the film he maintains a certain good-natured charm, even when antagonizing Doyle. I’m kind of upset now that we haven’t had a string of Ed O’Neill comedy blockbusters, because he made this movie great. I really enjoyed the film and am glad to have finally checked it out. (@VforVashaw)
James:
Wait… What?! Dutch should be a riotous gross-out comedy about an insufferable schlub and a spoilt brat on a road-trip of boobs and bodily fluids where initial antagonism eventually gives way to mutual respect and understanding.
Yet John Hughes’ and Peter Faiman’s Thanksgiving road movie is a gentler affair, trading on the charm of its cast and, for the most part, refusing to strain credibility too much as it reins in the sentimentality.
Ed O’Neill’s Dutch Dooley is less the expected obnoxious goofball, and more the decent, well-meaning regular guy just trying to do right by the woman he loves. His attempts to connect with JoBeth Williams’s horrendous hell-spawn (Ethan Embry — last seen eating a dog for cash in twisted morality play Cheap Thrills) whilst dragging him back home for the holidays leads to some hearty chuckles — I will never get tired of seeing a grown man getting shot in the nuts with a pellet gun.
Of course it’s formulaic and predictable, but it’s fun watching the mismatched pair’s increasingly ridiculous games of one-upmanship before the inevitable Christmas Carol-ish lessons are learnt, loathsome ex-husband Christopher ‘Typecast’ McDonald gets his comeuppance, and much turkey and laughs are had around the dinner table. (@jconthagrid)
Jacob:
In the annals of American film history, has there been a writer more patently boring than John Hughes? Committed to telling the same, sappy story about white suburbanites and their “oh so quirky” struggles ad nauseam, Hughes’ films became an avatar for 80s mall crowd malaise. Over-celebrated for his teeny bopper cinematic hugs for a generation of wet blankets, his second favorite sub-genre was the “holiday road trip” picture. Anchored by an admittedly fun performance from everybody’s favorite shoe salesman (Ed O’Neill), former Crocodile Dundee wrangler Peter Faiman molds Hughes’ Planes, Trains and Automobiles clone of a script into a fairly standard “snobs vs. slobs” affair, fashioning jokes to blue collar stereotypes. Future survivalist Ethan Embry plays the punk kid O’Neill’s titular everyman has volunteered to pick up from private school (in order to impress his upper crust fiancée, of course). Hijinks and bonding ensue as the movie barrels toward a predictably saccharine climax (which, in fairness, does feature O’Neill punching Chris McDonald in the face). Dutch is perfect for post-Thanksgiving dinner viewing with family you hate; easy-to-swallow Xanax, washed down with a fourth scotch. Unfortunately, the amber won’t have anything to do with you forgetting this paint-by-numbers blandness your Republican aunt is sure to love. (@JacobQKnight)
Brendan:
Dutch tries to strike a weird balance between cartoonish John Hughes and real-world John Hughes, but it never seems to get really comfortable. For every moment that really hits that dramedy sweet spot, there’s a bit like Ethan Embry busting out some 3 Ninjas shit and tuning up security guards that outweigh him by 300 pounds. The movie is never anything less that pleasant, so these weird tonal shifts aren’t deal breakers or anything, but Dutch occasionally shows potential for greatness that is never really realized.
I do want to take a moment to single out Embry. Hughes’ script really goes for it with this character, letting his Doyle be really, truly, fully repulsive in a way that mainstream films tend to shy away from.
No, really. I wanted to murder the little fucker so bad.
But Embry lets you understand the humanity within the fecal stain that is his character, which allows the growth and sincere moments later in the film actually land. And I like that the film doesn’t short-change his prickishness as it goes along, letting him and Al Bundy butt heads right up to the climax. So well done Ethan. (@TheTrueBrendanF)
Our Guests
Shawn Porter:
I’ve never really considered Dutch to be a Thanksgiving movie despite the plot. It’s always been one of those movies that’s playing on basic cable when I’m at staying at a hotel in the middle of nowhere. I think the last time I watched it was on Laser Disc…
Dutch works really hard to remind us that there’s a class difference; with blue collar rich guy Ed O’Neill enjoying the finer things in life like fireworks, showing nudie playing cards to little kids and burping bacon while white collar rich guy Christopher McDonald has a super creepy mustache, proving he’s a privileged, born villain.
The “prick little kid” role — Empire Records’ Ethan Embry — is as smug as they come when we first meet him. But once he sees nudie playing cards, takes a car ride with some hookers and learns that there are poor people who need bread he finally has his enlightenment and turns his back on being a prick little kid and instead is the model of well adjusted youth. Even when the blue collar rich guy shoots him in the ass with a pellet gun.
As the homeless man washing himself in the sink says: “Are you ready for your Turkey Dinner?”
Happy Thanksgiving, film geeks! (@shawnporter23)
Derek Smith:
Having seen the film upon the initial video release and being around the same age as Doyle, I latched onto the film immediately. Who wouldn’t want to go on a John Hughes road trip? Chaos would be the only guarantee, but fun and heart would be the co-pilots. The recurring music that plays whenever the racy playing cards always gets stuck in my head, especially the Sam Kinison scream.
Also, for those that have seen Dutch, they shouldn’t be surprised by Embry’s performance in Cheap Thrills. (@Darathus)
Justin Harlan:
First off, Ethan Embry (Doyle) is a little dick. Seriously, before the second sentence came out of his mouth, I was full-on-ready to punch the little turd in is stupid mouth. Now that that’s out of the way… A young Ed O’Neill plays Doyle’s mother’s boyfriend, Dutch. Dutch is a working class stiff with a good heart and some rough edges. From the moment he meets the dickish young Doyle, he refuses to put up with Doyle’s snobbery and rude attitude. Of course, this conflict fuels the remainder of the film.
In the way comedies like this one tend to go, the film eventually leads to the young boy seeing that he needs to stop being a jerk. Through Dutch and a series of events, Doyle understands that he needs to treat his mother better, as well as other people in general.
While nothing about this film makes it stand out positively or negatively from other films of its ilk, it is fun and enjoyable throughout. It starts a bit slow, but picks up as soon as Dutch and Doyle meet. O’Neill is solid and Embry, as noted above, plays a convincing asshole kid. Worth a watch for sure. (@thepaintedman)
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