RED 2 on Blu: Retired Extremely Derivative

Red 2 hits Blu-ray and DVD on November 26th from Summit Entertainment

Sometimes watching a WHOLE bunch of movies can really help put things in perspective. For instance… I happened to watch three movies in a row the night I watched Red 2. And it was my third favorite film of the day. You can’t ignore an occurrence like that when it hits you. Red 2 is safe, vanilla, pre-packaged entertainment. On another day I might have given it a fairer shake. Because sure, there are some elements to enjoy here in this tidy little package of comedy and action. But in the end a film like this fades from memory WHILE you are watching it, not to mention days or weeks afterwards. And even when fluffiness of this magnitude hits your screen of choice, it is important to ask for a lot more from our entertainment than what Red 2 is offering.

You’ve pretty much already seen Red 2. And I don’t mean that to imply that it is exactly like its predecessor so much as I mean there are dozens of movies exactly like Red 2. But… it is also a lot like Red 1, and it is worse than the first entry on just about every level.

A film like Red 2 reminds you (in its failure) just how incredibly challenging the balancing act between comedy and action can be. I didn’t laugh a whole lot during the movie, so the comedy felt pervasive. You can’t get away from Bruce Willis’ smirk or Marie-Louise Parker’s quirk. So if you aren’t laughing… it is all over for you right there. BUT, let’s say you aren’t laughing a whole lot… might not the action of the film have an opportunity to swoop in and thrill you? Well, here lies the other massive problem. The action in Red 2 never feels even remotely weighty. The lackluster comedy dominates and you realize you are watching stitched together comedy sketches more than a legitimate plot with any stakes or gravity to the proceedings.

In the “Red 2 Experience” behind-the-scenes documentary, one of the film’s producers embarrassingly highlights the importance of this tonal balance between action and comedy. He insists that director Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest, Fun With Dick And Jane) is the right man for the job regarding this delicate balancing act. I beg to differ. The comedy roots of Parisot are far more evident here than his ability to make me care about the story or the development of the characters at all.

The story involves our team of “retired extremely dangerous” spies re-assembling when their Cold War involvement in “Project Nightshade” is exposed on Wiki-leaks. Because, you know… relevance. Nightshade turns out to be a staggeringly uninteresting MacGuffin that will destroy a whole city and… you’ll never doubt for a moment that the good guys will win. And you know why? Because you’ve pretty much seen this movie already. Despite my constant, life-long film watching habit, I remain awful at guessing how a movie will play out. I would make a terrible passenger in the Mystery Machine. But Red 2 was aggressively predictable at every single turn. The double agent-y character? Yeah, I knew what side they were on from the get go. So will you. The surprise villain? You’ll have it figured out in moments. The final, clever switch-a-roo? I DEFY you not to know exactly what Bruce is up to in his plan to save the day.

I have done nothing but pan this film so far, and that doesn’t authentically portray my actual feelings about the movie. I generally like watching beautiful and talented people gather together on the big screen and crack wise and blow things up. And Red 2 features some of the MOST beautiful people on planet earth. Catherine Zeta-Jones has always made my heart skip a beat, and her wrench-in-the-works Russian agent here is marginally entertaining. Helen Mirren was easily the stand out in the first film as a casually murderous sniper and dignified lady, and she maintains that wonderful drollness of hers in this installment as well, providing some of the film’s best laughs and even some of the most striking action beats. And then there is my man Byung Hun Lee (G.I. Joe, I Saw The Devil) making his first appearance in this particular franchise as assassin Han, who will stop at nothing to bring down his target Frank Moses (Bruce Willis). Lee is one of the most enormous super stars in his native Korea, and he lights up every waking moment of this film when he appears in all his ridiculously handsome glory. I’ll end up seeing Red 3 someday solely for the promise of more Byung Hun Lee. Oh, and Anthony Hopkins provides a little levity to his role as a mad scientist. The guy still brings it even if his character is a hopelessly over-used archetype.

Each of the characters I highlighted above are B-characters, however. The lead trio of Willis’ Frank Moses, Mary-Louise Parker’s Sarah, and John Malkovich’s Marvin are all totally acceptable… and totally pat.

The only question when it comes to your enjoyment of Red 2 versus your potential dismissal of it, comes down to just how much you enjoy watching beautiful people make jokes and explode things. If you are REALLY into that kind of thing, then I recommend the first Red. It is far superior in tone and novelty. If that first film rocks your world, then sure… check out the sequel and experience diminishing returns. But honestly, I’d sooner recommend Ocean’s 11 or even The Expendables to see this same type of entertainment package of big name stars doing familiar and comforting things like wisecracking and pulling triggers.

The Package

Red 2 looks like a movie that gave most of its budget to its enormous cast. It isn’t a shoddy film by any stretch. But all the money is in those beautiful faces. There’s some car chases and GCI-enhanced set pieces, as well as some smaller fights. They are sufficient, workman-like affairs that never raise your pulse unless Byung Hun Lee is involved. The blu-ray looks nifty but you don’t buy this movie for the look, you buy it for the names involved. Your call there.

There is a pretty solid “multi-part documentary” called The Red 2 Experience which combines all the little featurettes you would normally get into one continuous doc. I really like that option. I’d much rather hit play once and see 40-or-so minutes of content than hit play again and again for 10 minute segments. Some of the sub-topics include the screenplay, the stunts, the weapons, and the cast. There is also a gag reel and some deleted scenes.

If you are fan of the film, this will probably be enough of a package to please you. As someone who wasn’t impressed with the final product, I found the bonus features to be a little embarrassing when producers are telling you how aware they are of the tough comedy/action balancing act and then failing to execute in spite of that knowledge. Again, you’ve seen dozens of films exactly like Red 2 already. If you can’t get enough, more power to you. Probably only a top-billed Byung Hun Lee could get me excited about Red 3.

And I’m Out.

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