Woody Allen’s comedic reputation was forever sealed with this still-hilarious social send-up.
Leave it to Woody Allen to take one of the most influential and acclaimed books ever published on one of the most fundamental aspects of human behavior and strip away everything which made it deeply scientific or psychological, much to the dismay of its author. But that’s exactly what happened when the Woodman took Dr. David Rueben’s now-infamous bestseller, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask” and put his own comic spin on it. The result is a side-splitting look at sexual mores and hang-ups as seen through the eyes of one of the most genius comic minds of all time.
Consisting of a series of several vignettes, as well as one of the most wildly eclectic casts Allen ever put together, Everything You Always wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask is a laugh-filled romp where sexual conventions and taboos, including bestiality, cross-dressing, and even sexual scientific research are each sent up in that classic Allen way.
Personally, I feel the only method of reviewing this Blu-ray is to go down the list and look at each vignette and what it laughingly said about human sexuality in the 1970s.
- In “Do aphrodisiacs work?” a court jester (Allen) fails to make a dismal, but beautiful queen (Lynn Redgrave) smile, yet finds himself deeply smitten with her nonetheless. Because Allen can really only do Allen acting-wise, the first piece of the film plays out like a spoof on Shakespeare with lines such as, “What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white? A nun falling down a flight of stairs.” Yet it manages to work. The best aspect of the piece is how Allen allows Redgrave to rise above straight man level with comedy moments of her own, such as when the Queen believes the jester to be getting fresh, causing her to exclaim, “I believe thouest did try to cop a feel!” Not the strongest of the bunch, but a great way to begin the proceedings.
2. “What is sodomy?” sees well-respected general practitioner Dr. Doug Ross (Gene Wilder) at a loss of what to do when he finds himself falling in love with a sheep. Hands down the funniest vignette within Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, Allen takes an understandably controversial subject and turns it into comic gold. This is due in LARGE part to Wilder. In an Oscar-worthy performance, the late actor is at his most “Gene Wilder”-esque, garnering laughs through simple stares and playing the proceedings with seriousness and devotion. The moment of him lying in bed with said sheep as he stares dreamily at the ceiling remains iconic.
3. I can’t tell if “Why do some women have trouble reaching an orgasm?” is the least funny of all the film’s vignettes or if it just has the bad luck of following the most hilarious. In any case, this tale of an Italian couple (Allen and then-wife Louise Lasser), whose bedroom problems are solved by series of public sexual escapades, does leave something to be desired. Maybe it’s the fact that Allen chose to have his and Lasser’s characters speak entirely in Italian, but the piece falls more or less flat on a comic level. Not helping matters is that there isn’t much humor in it. Apart from the randomness of the moments and locations the pair choose to have sex, the dialogue just isn’t prime Woody. However, props must be given to Allen’s versatility for attempting to parody the kind of arty international romance cinema of the day and make it come off as more or less authentic.
4. The movie’s momentum returns in full force with “Are transvestites homosexuals?” The Allen-free vignette focuses on married man Sam (Lou Jacobi), whose secret habit of being a transvestite is about to be exposed when he decides to go through the closet of his son’s future mother-in-law. The farcical nature of this piece of the film is what makes it tick as Sam tries both desperately and hopelessly to keep from getting caught in his future in-law’s clothes, leading to a great snowball effect. Making the proceedings all the more insane is the image of the gruff Jacobi prancing around in a red hat and dress re-enacting the most feminine of mannerisms with the utmost glee. Allen ends the piece with a touching note as Sam and his wife are laughing in bed that night recalling the shocked reactions of their in-laws at seeing him in women’s clothes.
5. The follow-up segment “What are sex perverts?” may have proven to be too much on the parody side to fully hit its target. A re-creation of the classic game show What’s My Line sees celebrities such as Regis Philbin and Pamela Mason try to guess at the various forms of perversion presented to them in front of a live audience. Maybe the reason this piece only sorta works is due to the tonal battling between the realistic edge of having the proceedings play out like an actual TV show and the sheer fantasy of a society where such sexual fetishes are widely accepted. Despite this, moments including the rabbi who gets to act out his ultimate sexual fantasy while his wife sits by watching as she eats pork are stand-outs.
6. “Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?” must’ve ruffled some feathers in the psychology community, not least of all Reuben’s. The segment features Allen and Helen (Heather MacRae) as a pair of strangers who find themselves at the doorstep of renowned, eccentric sexual researcher Dr. Bernardo (John Carradine). While the piece plays out like a take on “Frankenstein,” watching Carradine be as goofily creepy as can be and seeing Allen and MacRae’s reactions to him make the whole exercise worth it. The piece eventually takes a ludicrous turn, but remains firmly tongue-in-cheek thanks to the game attitude of everyone involved, particularly Allen, who never once holds back with where he lets the story go.
7. The film ends with “What happens during ejaculation?” where a control center headed by technicians Burt Reynolds and Tony Randall monitors an on-going date to determine whether potential intercourse is about to happen, causing them to send down their team of sperm which includes Allen. The final segment may be the most fantastic of the group, but it also happens to be Allen at his most Allen. The neurotic nature he shows as a frightened sperm who is waiting to be sent out on his mission is the kind of role audiences love seeing him in. The writer/director gives the set-up his classic brand of humor; “I’m supposed to be at my parents’ for dinner,” he says while in line with his fellow sperm, while the whole act of sexual climax being treated like a space mission is pure brilliance.
Like most films bearing Allen’s name, the results are almost always not for everyone. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, however, is not one such specific case. The film is a comic tour-de-force from Allen which cements his standing as one-of-a-kind voice that remains unmatched to this day. Moreover, though, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex represents bravery and truth in filmmaking; particularly the kind representative in the 1970s when boundaries were being pushed and closed-mindedness was being challenged. While efforts from Scorsese and DePalma were doing just that in spades, no one made it come off the way Allen did here.
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask is know available on Blu-ray from Twilight Time.
