by Frank Calvillo
Poor Vin Diesel. He just can’t seem to break free from the shackles of the big-budget movie franchise. Most of the projects he chooses to take on, which don’t have him racing cars or blowing up government property, leave him with one forgettable flop after another. Adding to this list is the horror/action/fantasy piece The Last Witch Hunter, which again sees the actor trying to expand his cinematic horizons, or at the very least, the number of franchises under his belt.
In The Last Witch Hunter, Diesel plays Kaulder, who was known during the middle ages as the ultimate destroyer of plague-infesting witches. During an attempt to bring down the witch queen (Julie Engelbrecht), a curse is placed on Kaulder which causes him to see both his wife and daughter perish, while he continues to live forever. Cut to modern-day New York City and a more cynical Kaulder is living in a world where witches and humans share a peaceful co-existence. However, shortly after the mysterious death of Kaulder’s advisor Dolan 36th (Michael Caine) it is up to him and Dolan 37 (Elijah Wood), the previous Dolan’s successor, to discover what happened as the treaty between the witches and humans seems to be coming to an end.
It would seem like The Last Witch Hunter has a lot going for it on paper. There are some genuinely top-notch visuals and enough tongue-in-cheek elements which keep the film from taking itself more seriously than need be. Moreover though, it’s refreshing to see a big-budget film of this nature which doesn’t rely on a franchise or some other existing property, but rather exists as the brainchild of a writer’s imagination.
Unfortunately that’s where most of the positive attributes stop.
While there is a decent enough mystery at play here, no one involved with The Last Witch Hunter seems all that interested in going to town with it. The result is a straightforward horror/fantasy yarn that, to describe it as a pleasant enough way to pass the time, would be beyond generous. Every plot point, every scene, every character seems to make the audience recall and long for better, more exciting titles and then become depressed when they remember they’re stuck watching this film instead. What proves most frustrating out of anything else is that most of the elements which fail here, from the script, to the villains, all seemed to have the potential to be good and the filmmakers know it. They just can’t achieve it.
There’s no way around it. Diesel is totally wrong for the part in every way possible and even in a few extra ways too. The actor is just plain awful in the middle ages sequences and barely passable in the modern day ones, never getting a real handle on the tortured nature of his character or the fun of the film’s premise.
The supporting cast fares no better with Rose Leslie (as an influential modern-day witch) and Engelbrecht making little to no impression. While Caine is stuck doing a re-working of his Alfred from The Dark Knight films, a game Wood seems forever searching for something interesting to do in all of his scenes.
Throughout the course of The Last Witch Hunter, I couldn’t help but think how much better someone like Johnny Depp would have done in the film’s lead role. This isn’t only because of the actor’s knack for dark, off-center characters, but I feel he would have really brought the film’s more fantastic elements to life in a way which never happened here. Regardless of what could have been, however, The Last Witch Hunter’s lackluster execution makes for an occasion of sadness as once again the tentpole franchises prove their worth while the big-scale original form of cinematic escape takes yet another blow.
The Package
The Last Witch Hunter‘s Blu-ray/DVD combo contains a couple uninteresting deleted scenes, equally entertaining commentary and a bevy of other goodies.
The Lowdown
If there is such a thing as cinematic fate, The Last Witch Hunter really WILL be the last witch hunter.
The Last Witch Hunter is now available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
