by Frank Calvillo
Elijah Wood makes a rare big screen appearance this month as Vin Diesel’s loyal sidekick in action/horror/fantasy The Last Witch Hunter.
While the actor has made a name for himself as one of the indie film world’s most watchable leading men, his appearances in major studio fare are so few and far between, that when Wood does indeed say yes to such a project, it raises an eyebrow or two, even if the films themselves come and go without a lot of fanfare.
The best of these times in the actor’s career was his turn as an inept hitman in the unseen dark ensemble comedy Chain of Fools.
In Chain of Fools, a hapless barber named Kresk (Steve Zahn) has just been dumped by his ex-wife Karen (Lara Flynn Boyle) at the same time a thief named Avnet (Jeff Goldblum) has walked into his shop for a haircut. After overhearing Avnet describe his latest theft (three rare Chinese coins worth millions), and an accidental mishap which leaves the thief dead, Kresk recruits his best friend Andy (David Cross) to set out and retrieve the precious coins. Before the two know it, their plan will soon draw in an assortment of characters including underage hitman Mikey (Elijah Wood), devoted personal assistant Mr. Kerner (David Hyde Pierce), sandwich-loving millionaire Bollingsworth (Tom Wilkinson) and a very attractive police detective named Sgt. Kolko (Salma Hayek), who is hot on the trail of the missing coins.
Lovers of extremely offbeat comedy will recognize Chain of Fools as pure gold. This film is truly the definition dark farce. It’s incredibly hard not to be taken by the level of black comedy the film explores, through its hilarious twists and turns and especially in its characters, all of whom give the term “quirky” a new meaning. There’s nothing but good fun to be had at such hilariously ridiculous individuals taking things as seriously as they do. From Cross’ unhinged scout master who has a chest of torn off merit badges from scouts he feels don’t deserve them, to an illiterate gangster (Kevin Corrigan) whose main source of killer ferocity stems from the fact that he can’t complete a crossword puzzle, you can practically feel the writer’s delight at creating such a weird bunch. However, it’s Wood’s teenaged hitman, Mikey, with a sensitive side which proves the most random and sidesplitting. With a penchant for broadway shows and longing for a best friend, while struggling to be taken seriously as a hitman, it’s Mikey who ends up leaving the film’s biggest impression.
There’s also a handful of great chuckles to be had at the way Chain of Fools presents each of its characters. While most crime films slap their characters’ names and occupations on the screen upon their initial entry, Chain of Fools plays with the motif by inserting irrelevant facts about them instead, such as: “Mikey- Studying for his GED,” “Bollingsworth- Expelled from Oxford,” and “Sgt. Kolko- Former Cheerleader.”
Equally hilarious is the film’s dialogue, which perfectly plays up to each character’s levels of weirdness. When Bollingsworth is describing to Avnet why he wants to hire him to rob his nemesis, he seethes with anger when he exclaims: “I hate him! He cheats and he chews with his mouth open!” Later on, while the two are waiting for the right moment to strike and Bollingsworth starts eating a sandwich from a plastic bag, Avnet looks at him with disbelief as he asks with great deadpan: “You brought a sandwich to a heist?” Once Bollingsworth falls into a coma after an attempted suicide, which Kresk managed to prevent, Mr. Kerner tries to convince the confused barber that what took place was an accident, not intentional, stating: “It’s important that everyone know that Mr. Bollingsworth is of sound mind and body. Even if he’s in a coma.”
For an extremely diverse cast, there’s a lot of powerhouse chemistry going on throughout Chain of Fools. Regardless of who is paired with who at any given time, each performer seems taken with the script’s zany DNA, with Zahn and Cross and Goldblum and Wilkinson as the most hilarious of teamings. While Hayek is marvelously deadpan, it’s Wood’s over-emotional junior hitman which allows the actor to showcase some great, if unexpected, comic timing.
While the audience for Chain of Fools may have been limited, even those who would have found the film hysterical never got the chance to see it. For whatever reason, Chain of Fools was only released in a handful of theaters before being ushered away and eventually reappearing on DVD. In spite of the virtually non-existent release, Chain of Fools quickly became somewhat of an underground staple among fans of dark comedy.
Chain of Fools lists the name Traktor as its director. In reality, the name refers not to any one specific person, but rather a Swedish production team consisting of multiple directors and producers. As a result, Chain of Fools is the epitome of a committee-made film, yet with the rare distinction of being one that actually works.
