ANT-MAN Box Office Alternative: Paul Rudd Ushers Michelle Pfeiffer Into Cougarhood in I COULD NEVER…

by Frank Calvillo

Box Office Alternative Column

Box Office Alternative is a weekly look into additional/optional choices to the big-budget spectacle opening up at your local movie theater every Friday. Oftentimes, titles will consist of little-known or underappreciated work from the same actor/writer/director/producer of said new release, while at other times, the selection for the week just happens to touch upon the same subject in a unique way. Above all, this is a place to revisit and/or discover forgotten cinematic gems of all kinds.

Full disclosure: I’m beyond excited for the release of Ant-Man this week. I will admit to feeling some definite Marvel fatigue as of late, but so much about this movie looks too promising to ignore. There’s the movie’s rather hyperreal look and feel, the inclusion of Michael Douglas, that Edgar Wright dialogue, and the casting of Paul Rudd as the titular superhero.

The actor has always maintained an on-screen persona that oddly mixes a never-ending dry sarcastic humor with a goofy likeability. It will definitely be interesting to see how well he acquits himself in the superhero stratosphere.

For me though, Rudd was never at his more affable than when he reunited with his Clueless writer/director Amy Heckerling to star opposite Michelle Pfeiffer in the little-seen romantic comedy I Could Never Be Your Woman.

After finding big-screen success in the 80s and 90s with hits like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Look Who’s Talking, Heckerling had carved out a spot for herself as one of the sharpest female directors in Hollywood before writing her most personal script to date. While executive producing the stupefyingly popular TV series version of Clueless, the writer/director noted an undeniably strong shift in the way women over a certain age, herself included, were being treated within the industry.

In her trademark “give it back to the man” fashion, Heckerling went about writing a romantic comedy about an over-40 TV producer named Rosie (Pfeiffer), the showrunner of a Clueless-like sitcom. Happily divorced, single, and with a pre-teen daughter named Izzie (Saorsie Ronan), Rosie lives a content life until aspiring comic actor Adam (Rudd) lands a guest spot on her show and proves a game-changer after charming his way into her life.

The obvious novelty of I Could Never Be Your Woman is that its one of the few times in a romantic comedy where the woman is actually older than the man she loves. There are the usual kind of awkward date moments and other relationship humor within the film, which have been a staple of the genre for decades. Yet for Rosie, there’s also plenty of the valid fears an older woman faces when she dates a younger man, including the ultimate one concerning the relationship’s shelf life. Issues such as this and others, including Rosie’s surreal confusion at the fact that she’s entered into a new relationship at the same time as her daughter’s first, are almost never part of the romantic comedy experience, yet Hecklerling recognizes their very real existence.

Besides being a genuinely funny romantic comedy, I Could Never Be Your Woman is also a biting attack on Hollywood’s more than unhealthy relationship with youth, from the opening credits sequence featuring a collage of cosmetic procedures, to the casting of two leads playing several years younger than their actual ages.

As written by Heckerling, Rosie has proven herself a talented enough individual to the point where she has created and runs her own successful television show. However, the situation is a case of winning the battle, not the war, since the show itself features good-looking actors in their late 20s playing characters in their teens. The show, titled You Go, Girl!, has forced Rosie to stay young herself by remaining well-versed in the latest slang, music, and culture of 21st century youth. Rosie is often-times shown as relying on Izzie for inspiration/help while letting her own talents be pushed to the side in a bid to keep the show fresh and herself employed.

In a romantic comedy, its all about chemistry and here, both leads have lots of it. Though she isn’t known for comedy, Pfeiffer has always made for a great straight man. The reactions she gives with her eyes indicate pitch perfect timing, while the overall level of cuteness she exhibits is totally intoxicating.

The actress is equally matched by Rudd, who amps up his goofball factor here to its highest possible level. The actor’s mix of slapstick and excellently timed comedic line delivery further add to his status as one of the most unconventional, if not endearing, leading men since Dick Van Dyke.

If I Could Never Be Your Woman has any kind of legacy today, its in the very turbulent road it took to completion which included a questionable financier, desperate methods to reduce production costs (including dressing up London to look like L.A. in a bid for tax breaks), salary disputes, and the loss of a handful of filmed scenes.

After a number of failed release dates due to distribution deals falling through at the last minute (decidedly awkward since Pfeiffer had already begun publicity duties via magazine interviews), I Could Never Be Your Woman was sent to DVD purgatory nearly 3 years after filming had ended. Those who reviewed the film on DVD and in a handful of foreign markets (where the movie WAS released and actually did quite well), found plenty to like about the charm and social commentary throughout I Could Never Be Your Woman.

The film’s long journey was chronicled in a fascinatingly in-depth (and sadly humorous) Entertainment Weekly article featuring a radiant Pfeiffer next to a headline titled Would You Dump This Woman? The piece was a fascinating example of nightmarish behind the scenes movie making and included interviews with Heckerling, Rudd, and other key players recalling their own take on the events which led to the film’s sad fate.

Its more than symbolic that this is also what Hollywood does to those who commit the cardinal sin of not staying young in an industry which has never operated on any clear set of rules. It dumps them into the DVD bin of tinseltown. Yet I Could Never Be Your Woman remains Heckerling’s unsung masterpiece, ultimately showing that while Hollywood will forever care about how old you are, something far more powerful and real, such as love, does not.

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